In a time when nothing is more certain than change, the commitment of two people to one another has become difficult and rare. Yet, by its scarcity, the beauty and value of this exchange have only been enhanced.
Milton H. Erickson (1901- 1980) was an American Psychiatrist who specialized in medical hypnosis. His story is fascinating and inspiring. As a young man of 17 he was stricken with polio. His incredible recovery is briefly recounted below. Not only does his story offer inspiration, but insight into experiential wisdom and application for the betterment of the human condition.
Milton Erickson was always delighted to recount that he was one of the few people who traveled East in a covered wagon. His love of doing things differently was a theme in his life as well as in the way he practiced psychotherapy. His unique approaches have impacted and changed psychotherapy in a pivotal way.
Born in 1901, in Aurum, Nevada, a long vanished silver-mining town, he was Albert and Clara Erickson's second child. When he was five, the family moved to Lowell, Wisconsin, and began farming on 80 acres. The family eventually grew to 7 girls and 2 boys, which was a distinct disadvantage in the epoch of clear male and female work roles. The family frequently "loaned out" a girl for kitchen duties in exchange for an extra hand at crop time.
Even as a child, Milton was recognized as different. His schoolmates called him "Pat" because he always had his lessons "down pat." There was a paucity of printed material in his farm community and he already had an insatiable appetite for reading. He amused himself by reading the dictionary. While still a teenager, he began his prolific publishing career, writing an article about the problems of youths on farms for a national magazine. He enjoyed writing for newspapers as a student and continued to contribute to newspapers for many years. His submissions ranged from serious editorials to humorous anecdotes.
He admired the wise country doctor, as a youngster, and planned that career for himself. Then at 17, he was stricken by poliomyelitis. He spent a great deal of time analyzing the intricacies and hidden messages of the conversations in rooms adjacent to his bedroom as he lay paralyzed. His examination of minute details of the relationships between thinking and healing and the effects of the mind on the body proved to be key elements in his recovery.
As a transition back to physical well-being, Milton planned a camping trip by canoe from the Wisconsin River in Milwaukee down the Mississippi to St. Louis. A friend who was going with him canceled at the last minute. As Milton's parents were already uncomfortable with this trip, he decided not to tell them it would be a solitary venture. He began his trip with $5.00 in his pocket and being carried to the river because he couldn't walk far. There would be many portages with his canoe, but he decided he could depend on his wits until he could develop the muscles he needed. He was confident that even alone he would manage.
He paddled home after six weeks. He still had his $5.00, was tanned and had developed enormous shoulder muscle strength. He had learned to walk again, supported only by a cane. The trip impacted him and his thinking for the rest of his life. Many nights, he had "earned" his supper by telling stories to fishermen along the river and he recognized the power of stories the rest of his life. He became even more appreciative of the power of nature to soothe and teach. Erickson always relished learning and on this trip, he was able to see other ways of living. He talked to and learned from the company of people whose life styles were totally outside his experiences.
In Erickson's youth was marked with times of isolation and solitude as well as intervals of physical hardship. His life philosophy was shaped by the resulting appreciation of the values of observation, patience, perseverance, and hard work. All surroundings provide solutions, whether the circumstances are sparse, filled with adversities or teeming with yet-to-be discovered possibilities for the navigation of life. This life philosophy, this different view of the resources available within each person and the environment shaped his professional views and created a broader spectrum for psychotherapy.
They were little once. And, now they’re all grown up – well, kind of.
Alex, our youngest son of three, graduates from high school today. It sure is a bitter-sweet moment in my life. I take solace knowing that he will continue to grow as a man And hopefully use the wisdom he’s gained thus far. I hope he understands that he can rely upon his family and best of friends To help right his way when he strays To celebrate his successes and passions To support him through those difficult times when personal growth is inevitable To love him for who he is and not who we wished he was. Because, to me, with all the ups and downs, The laughter, the tears, the terror, the hugs, the girls, the Alexisms The wrecked cars, the name changes, the broken bones, the messy rooms and loud music
Stuart Alexander Paykel
has illuminated our lives. I simply wouldn’t have him any other way.
Alex, please continue to live with passion. Share your gifts. Do the unexpected. And, most of all, know you are loved…Unconditionally.
Love, Mom
Photo:Michi, Alex, Alexio, Clay and Kelsey 2009 graduates of Western Branch High School
Here’s a magical question that changes EVERYTHING! Practice asking it of yourself throughout your day.
Especially ask it when feeling overwhelm, upset, frustration, and so forth. The question:
How would you like to feel right now?
Put it in the first person form, of course. That is:
How would I like to feel right now?
And be perfectly honest — and really, really sure of your answer.
And then:
Feel that way.
Allow yourself to feel the way you would like to feel right now.
And allow yourself to be vigilant about noticing and letting go of any conflicting feelings and thoughts that attempt to assert themselves. And, when you become aware that conflicting feelings and thoughts HAVE asserted themselves and are busy making messes of your internal emotional environment and mental clarity, allow yourself to pause … and ask the question again.
You’ll be surprised.
The more you practice this, the better you’ll get at it.
"That which you think about, you create. Thoughts are things! And that which you think about, good or bad - you create into your own reality." Author Unknown
